Heartbroken

Ten months ago, God said “Go!” and so, we did. We knew that the Lord would be good to provide along the way, however that looked.  We just knew the calling to this was strong, and the rest was secondary to that. Whatever the road before us held, we were jumping in. 

While it is clear to me now that there is MUCH we did not know about the journey ahead of us; what stands out to me most as I look back  is that we had no idea what it felt like to let others share our load. We, as people, are not used to this and we are not good at this naturally. We are strong men, or independent women, and we don’t *need* the help of others. 

In this particular journey, we had no choice but to reach out for help, and BOY HOWDY! We had no idea what it would feel like to be a part of a community that wrapped its arms and prayers so tightly around us.

Friends, family, STRANGERS, people from all over the world have come together to help two VERY REGULAR PEOPLE (who often don’t have a clue what they are doing) bring home a child from half way around the world. That blows my mind.

There are no words to describe the humility that comes with accepting others hard earned money. No one has owed us anything. Not one person has had any reason that they would be forced to come alongside of us. Yet time after time, miracle after miracle…it kept happening.

Dollar by dollar, day by day, our community was carrying us. There are times where it has been terrifying; there have been times where I literally believed it was impossible.

However, here we are, 10 months later with only $5,500.00 to go. I’ve watched miracles unfold in front of my very eyes, and I’ve wept at the generosity of others more times than I can count on my hands. Every time my soul begins to feel weak, I can look back and see that God brought someone alongside of us to fill us back up.

There really are no words to sum up this feeling in my chest. It's gratitude, it's humility, it's unknown.

What I can say about it is this-

Though the road has been long, and weary at times. It has been rich and full. It has been loving, caring, warm, friendly, loyal and blessed. If I think about how many people have invested in us, without expecting ANYTHING in return, I just get the chills. Even as I type this, stories flood into my mind, one after another merging together into the face of Esther.

Friends, families, and strangers are the reason we stand here today.

Jesus, is the reason we stand here today.

We are absolutely incapable to out give God, He is gracious, righteous, steadfast, stable, lovely, merciful, gracious, rich in blessings and splendor. He has used hundreds of people on this road to carry us.  

He is our rock. He is amazing. He is good.

Most recently we were blessed to be the featured family of the week on Give1Save1. Today, only day 5 of 7, it has brought into our family the blessing of $2,225.00. My heart swells to think of how beautiful it’s been to watch, yet again, our community come to our aid. This has been a time of great joy for us.

Sadly, today, something tragic happened in our country; something that has brought great sorrow and great pain. Pain that I cannot for the life of me begin to understand or relate to; it hurts to much to even think about it.

Today, a gunman walked into a school and killed 20 children and 6 adults. Today, we saw just one of the many pictures the world paints of our longing for a savior and a King like Jesus. Today we are full of despair at our own helplessness.

If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 

This verse, among many, has always stood out to me on our journey as a motivation to love the orphan and persevere  Today, though, it reminds me that we have been loved much, and as such I want our love to spill over.

Friends, we have 2 full days and 3 nights left with Give1Save1. At the suggestion of my husband with a heart for Jesus, we have decided we would like to turn over our request for donations to OUR cause, to the cause of these families in great pain; to the cause of the families who are going through, what I can only imagine to be one of the worst pains in the world. We would like for all donations now through Sunday to be given directly to the victims families to assist with burial costs and other costs for their sweet little ones.

I wish we could hand the reigns over to a cause full of more joy, but the reality of the world is that it is broken. It is lost and dark and even if we don’t see it daily like we did today, it is full of evil and heartache.

We are called to be a light to the world. To be the hands and feet of Jesus, and we really feel this is what He would have us do.

So please, friends, if you had been considering blessing us financially through Give1Save1 this week, THANK YOU! Your hearts are the heart I long for, but please consider blessing these families suffering immensely instead.

Give1Save1.com will have the details on how to do this tomorrow morning.

In the mean time pray. Pray for the families who will never again tuck their children into bed, or stroke their hair, or hear sweet gentle giggles. Pray for the families of the shooter as well who must be carrying the weight of the world around right now. Pray for the thousands of kisses, lost, and the millions of hopes crushed. Pray for Connecticut. 

Pray for the injustices and heartache of children everywhere, not just today. Pray for the Light of the World to shine into the hearts of the world, because it is the only real solution to this all.

Until Next Time,

TeJay, Ashleigh, Big E. and Little E.