Get Back on The Horse

What a crazy emotional process adoption is. While we were, obviously, sad and shocked to learn that we lost the twins-we both are choosing to find joy in the situation. God is good all of the time, and we had been praying that if they were not for us, that the door would close. Though it isn't the answer we were hoping for, it was still an answer to prayer.

I still have their picture hanging in my house, and I can't stand to take it down. I wish, more than anything, that I could simply hug them one time. Let them know we were ready and willing to love them. I am so overjoyed that they have a family who will do that, though.

I know (more than I've ever known anything) that God has gone before us to pave the way. Even though sometimes it feels like we will never see the end of the road on this journey, I know we will with the child HE has picked for us.

I gotta tell you, learning patience is a two edged sword. Those of you out there in need of some patience, I would urge you to consider adoption, great for these children, great for cleaning gunk out of your soul.

Other than that, things are still rolling. I can tell you that at the moment we do not have another referral, but, when we do have a referral I will not be sharing it on the blog until we pass a few milestones; possibly including court. It was just too hard to share the beautiful twins, and then have to share the devastating news that sometimes comes with international adoption. Whatever the case is, please continue praying with us and know that we are still moving on our hearts desire strongly!

We have a garage sale in the works, and it's also time to start sending off grant applications! Excited about this for sure!!

I've also decided to start dabbling in some painting. I'm not great by any means, but I think adoption art is a niche thing and I've enjoyed it so far.

Lastly, but most importantly, I really want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you who is on our journey with us. The financial support we've received blows my mind, I still worry about it all of the time, but then God gently reminds me he is behind this-and he does it through all of you.

Thank you, from the very bottom of my heart, for your generous, selfless, compassionate, gracious, loving, giving, donations. They bless not only our journey, but our souls.

Until next time,

TeJay, Ashleigh, Eva and Baby H.

Heartbroken

We got an email from our caseworker today saying that, when they went to collect more paperwork on the children, even though she isn't sure how it happened, another family had already taken them in for adoption.

We are heartbroken, and feel sick-but we know that God is in control. We will wait for the child/children He has for us and rely on the Grace and goodness we know of Him.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."-Romans 8:28 God's will is good and even though we might not see it as good for us in the moment, we believe it is good and will work for the best. We were currently at the point where we were going to have to pay the $17,100 initial payment for the Twins and were praying fervently that God would make it clear that if the situation was not right that he would close the doors. We are heart broken. But again, even though this is not the answer for prayer we were hoping for or even expecting, this is still an answer from prayer and we are thankful for God's faithfulness. Regardless, we care for those girls and are thankful they found a home even if it isn't ours. I will keep you all posted on what happens from here and blog in more detail soon. We are commited and we will persevere for the child God has for us, so don't worry about that. Prayers appreciated. -TeJay Ashleigh and Eva

We Got The Call...

Wow ya'll. Can you even believe it? We are SO excited - twins?! Are you crazy God? Sometimes I wonder if WE are crazy, but we trust God and the fact that he is in control of all of this gives peace.

The road ahead has many challenges, and is not without risk. If there is anything that can be said about international adoption, it is that NOTHING is for sure until you get home. We still have many major hills to climb, and we need mountains of prayer from here on out.

The twins are being moved into private foster care and are being given their health screening. Please pray in the next few days that the tests come back good.

As always, we appreciate everyone sharing our story and the passion God has placed on our hearts for adoption. If you would like a copy of the Power Point to send out in an e-mail, please write me at scrunchnose@yahoo.com and I would be THRILLED to do so!

TWINS!

I still can't believe it!

In as little as 4-5 months I will be the mother to THREE beautiful blessings from God.

Does it get any better than that?

Until Next Time,

TeJay, Ashleigh, Eva and Baby H The Twins

Eva On Adoption: Part 2!

Eva is obsessed with two things currently.

1. Swiper the fox from Dora

2. Her future brother or sister.

Tonight before bed time we were saying prayers and thanking Jesus for the many things we have to be thankful for. When she runs out of things to say she will look at me and say "Whats next?" The first thing that popped into my head was how much she loves Dora and I said "what about Swiper fox from Dora and how much you love that show?" She paused for a minute, looked at me with her big, beautiful eyes and said "Mommy, did schwiper box (yes, she calls him schwiper box) swipe my brother/sister?"

I just had to laugh. How could you not? I told her no, I would never let that happen . I then reminded her that Jesus keeps us safe and that Swiper fox is only pretend on the T.V.

She then, just for good measure I suppose, said "SCHWIPER NO SCHWIPING!" followed quickly by an "OHHH man!"

If you are a mom to a toddler, you know the hilarity of this conversation. Man I love this chick.

Eva Grace, more recently called my baby beluga, seriously cracks me up. She seriously has such a huge and tender heart, and for only being 2 years old I am CONSTANTLY blown away by the things she says. It is almost daily now that she says "brothersisters Eva wanna hold you!" (Yes, we are graduating to "brothersisters" as apposed to "brot-ter-shis-ter", although that word (if you can call it that) still makes an appearance every once in awhile.) I don't think she totally gets what's going on, but let me tell you something this girl is READY to have a brother or sister.

I stated wondering a few weeks back if we might have been premature by telling her she was going to be a big-and/or-little sister (sheesh, I tell you adoption is complicated!) her sweet little heart simply cannot seem to understand why EVERY SINGLE DAY Mommy says no when she asks if I can go "get dem, bring dem home to da Eva’s house!" Since I can't take it back now, and she can't seem to get the brother sisters out of her head, I've started using this opportunity as a time to share some pre-k gospel with her. So far, so good I'd say.

About a week ago we came across a picture of a waiting boy from another agency who had a need to be adopted. He was severely malnourished, to the point where his hair was discolored. Our hearts broke for him greatly. As I was staring into his eyes Eva asked me "who's dat?" I explained to her that sometimes little boys and girls don't have mom's or dad's because a yucky thing called sin is in the world, and that part of loving Jesus means loving little boys like him. We prayed that he would find a home and a mommy to "give him kisses and sippy cups" and the next day, guess what ya'll? He found a home! She has told many people, even strangers who don't have any idea what she is talking about, that the little boy found a mommy to love him.

Proud mommy moment.

It might have been pre-mature to tell her about adoption BEFORE our referral, but honestly it's amazing to see her mull over everything in her sweet, kind, precious little heart. I told her a few days ago that having a brother OR a sister (yes, I try to differentiate the two) is going to mean sharing toys, perhaps even sharing a room. She thought about it for awhile and then offered to give up her Snow White doll, which is a newer toy she loves, so that they can have a toy too.

I die.

So many people ask me "how are you going to explain to her that her sister or brother didn't grow in your belly?" For awhile, I thought that might be a problem, after all how would she understand the motives we have at 2 years old? Will she feel hurt? Will she be confused? If we get an older child will it mess her up?

Perhaps for some kids, it might cause some problems, I don't know- but so far it hasn’t for Eva. Eva calls a spade a spade every time and that is one of the million reasons I adore her. She seems to understand, perhaps more than a lot of us, that some babies come from the belly, and some babies don't. Her "best friend" if you can have such a thing at 2, is about to become a big sister (yay!) through traditional means and Eva says, quite often, "Riley's little brother live in the belly button" (eh, you win some you lose some) "But MY brother/sister lives in Africa."

See? It's just that simple really.

Thank you Eva for bringing it back down to simple terms.

I truly believe that this adoption has been a blessing to everyone around us who has been willing to open up their heart and share this part of life with us. It has blessed TeJay, Eva and I more than I can even put into words, and I am so thankful to each and every one of you who has donated, prayed for, or followed along side us on our journey.

WE COULDN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU!!!

Until next time, MUCH LOVE!

-TeJay, Ashleigh, Eva and Baby H

Ps here is some bonus footage of my awesome daughter and soon to be big/little/both sister!