There is light in this tunnel

"We drove up to the orphanage. There were no walls around it. There was no door to the orphanage. Children spilled out onto the street. Young girls sat outside on the street, maybe hoping to escape the sweltering heat inside the orphanage, while men in their cars drove by. It is only a matter of time, until these girls will sell the only thing they possess (themselves) to survive. As soon as I opened the door of the car, a tiny little girl, maybe 18 months old, ran up to me and grabbed me by the hand. This little girl had been out playing on the street, unsupervised. And streets aren't what they are here. Down both sides of the streets, everywhere you go in Kinshasa, are big dug out trenches. With no sanitation system, this is where waste and garbage end up. These roadside latrines are exposed and you have to step over them to cross the street. All of this seeps into what little drinking water there is inCongo, furthering the rampant diseases that exist here... In Congo you can sweat through your clothes in about 30 seconds. There was no running water, no electricity. Loose and broken up lumber was lying around haphazardly with nails sticking out of it. There were children everywhere.

All ages. All of them dirty.

The little ones were all covered in urine and feces. The older ones were covered in dirt and sadness that permeated out of their bodies. " -Megan millionsofmiles.com

I don't even know what I feel anymore. This process, despite still being in the earlier stages has taken the shell of who I used to be and turned me into a shockingly strong cocktail of emotions, any of which can pop up without warning.

Sometimes I think I feels l deep sorrow, too low for words, when I think about these children out there. Other times it's worry and anxiety, about finances, about my family, about my life. Sometimes its anger, pure and genuine hurt at the things people have said, said about MY child, and my family..

When I read more and more stories about the depth of the poverty and disease in the country I feel sick. Here I sit, coffee and lap top computer in hand, while my daughter eats noodles and watches cartoons in her nice clean PJ's on our flat screen T.V. It's snowing outside so we have a heater keeping us warm, not that I even think about it because it just turns on for me.

Our other child is most likely starving today.

Who knows where they are, when they have eaten last, or if they have any shelter from the elements.

Where are you my child, are you sad and alone?

Where are you my child, we're trying to bring you home.

Like I said, sometimes I feel angry, hurt, depressed or overall distant. But that isn't all I am feeling, and thank God for that.

Jesus has given my shallow and negative heart

hope, peace, joy, excitement and strength.

He loves me, crazy as He is for it being true, and He wants to grant me the desires of my heart that align with His will.

He has shown me, and in such a humbling and grace filled way, that even though it isn't fair that these children have nothing when we have so much, that people CARE.

Wow, simple as that sounds it exactly what I need to know.

People care.

People care about our child, about our story and about getting involved. People from across the globe have stepped forward to pray for us and encourage us in our journey and for that there are no words to express the joy my heart has.

See that financial progress thermometer over there? ----->

You know, the one that was so sad lonely and low for awhile?

Not the case anymore!

In just a few weeks time we have raised $4,800

$2300 in cash donations

$2500 through our auction.

Wow.

That means that with the $3650 we have already contributed we are at a total of$8,450.00 That is 1/3 of the way there! (we are now thinking overall costs will be at LEAST 25K)

God is good and when I am quick to fall apart at the desperation of situations, he is quick to bring people into our lives to bless us in ways that shock me more than I can express.

Every donation has blessed us, and I can honestly say that every time we get a donation it feels a lot like Christmas around here, which if you know me at all you know that's a big deal. Here are a few ways our world has been rocked this week, though there are WAY too many to list.

A customer of mine sent us $1,000.00 out of the blue.

A stranger, who we have NEVER met a check for $300.00

One friend wanted to "round her bill up $325.00 to make it an even $500.00" when she bought items at the auction.

More people than I can name have donated, and so many people bid way over retail price on items simply to help us out. A lot of people have said they are sorry they can't do more, but look! You are doing it! Every "little" bit has helped us get to 1/3 of our goal in only a few short weeks.

But it's not just financial, no,

our finances are just a means to an end.

It's prayer. Your prayers are working, they are keeping us going, they give me peace and encouragement when I want to let myself feel hopeless. Lives are changing all around us, most especially our own, but our story is touching hearts and homes all across the globe. You, your prayers, your encouragement, your questions and your donations are appreciated more than words can express.

we

could

not

do

this

without

YOU

Thank you. All of you.

FINANCES AND PROGRESS:

As I mentioned, we are officially beginning to rock on finances! We have enough money raised to pay for our home study, the remainder of our agency fees and the very start of our dossier fees. God is great to bless us, and you guys are great to help him do so!

Seriously, if you think we are unappreciative, you should watch me when I get a donation of any amount. I am always in shock, like its the first donation we've ever gotten, because the bottom line is that no one is obligated to help us.

God is just moving and placing it on the hearts of many to get involved, as humbling as it is, its also evidence of grace and affirmation that God is ALWAYS in control.

We are in the midst of our home study and our dossier paperwork. This is a very BIG time to be in, after we finish these two things (hopefully in 5 weeks) we will be ready to be placed with a child! Now, that doesn't mean it will happen right away, in fact probably not, but that means that these two things are the only things stopping us from being on the referral list.

SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!

So many doctors visits, background checks, home safety changes, training's, and overall prodding into our lives. I cannot WAIT for this part to be over.

Between fingerprinting, passport fees, getting certified copies of EVERYTHING and doctors visits the past week has cost us over $500.00 just to prove we are ourselves. Kind of silly, right?

Other than that just trying to get back in the groove of things. The auction was a HUGE success, and now I just have to wrap it all up by getting people out their goodies!! So like always, I am busy as a bee!

Eva's birthday was last weekend and it was SO much fun! I tried to take pictures, but if you have a two year old, and you add friends and sugar it is almost impossible to find time to take a picture, let alone get a good one. I tried friends!

She had such a good time though. Her face when we all sang happy birthday is one I will NEVER forget. What a sweet little baby girl we have. We are truly blessed.

As always, thanks for tuning in and following our journey.

Much love!

-TeJay, Ashleigh, Eva and Baby H.